(Narcissistic) Supply:

Referring to victims; how the Narc sees people (survivors) as a means to an end.  They/we "supply" the Narc with praise, validation, admiration, envy, financial or emotional gifts and support, etc.  This term refers not to our worth, but the vampiric lens through which a Narc abuser sees others.

 

Love Bombing:

"Bombing" the victim with constant attempts at flattery, compliments, etc. in order to lure the person in by stroking their ego or playing upon low self-esteem.

 

Mirroring:
The act of reflecting a persons beliefs, interests, goals, etc. back to them in order to gain trust and make the them feel there is a "strong connection."  Often employed by sales people.

 

Gaslighting:

Manipulating the victim's belief of facts, memories, and events in order to make them doubt themselves or even question their sanity.  In its stricter definition, this also follows the Idealize/Devalue/Discard pattern of abuse.

 

Triangulation:

Manipulating friends, family, etc. into believing that the abuser is the "good person" and spinning facts against the victim (sometimes with a smear campaign). Closely related to gaslighting and usually more successful when the victim is kept isolated.

 

Stockholm Syndrome / Trauma Bonding:
A psychological phenomena where the victim cannot help but feel love and affection for the abuser.  Usually caused by isolation/feeling trapped and gaslighting, coinciding with other abuse.  Trauma Bonding specifically refers to the fact that only the abuser and victim can understand exactly what happened, so we seek an apology or some sort of explanation from the abuser to piece together our shattered reality.  This effort is almost always fruitless, since the abuser is only seeing us as a supply and will only use apologies, therapy visits, etc. as a means to an end (more power, attention, etc. i.e. more supply).

 

Flying Monkeys:

People that believe (or are fooled by) a Narcissist's fake persona and (often unknowingly) believe the smears against the victim. (originally from The Wizard of Oz)

 

Word Salad:

A tactic Narcs commonly use to confuse and jumble ideas, words, and phrases of a conversation.  They will often manipulate PC (politcally-correct) phrases and ideas to further their agenda, even if these ideas are in stark contradiction with what they are saying.  One of many tools used for gaslighting (see above).

 

Covert / Overt:

The 2 most common types of Narcs.  Overts are identified more easily, though not always.  They are more vocal about their successes and "greatness" whereas coverts deliberately hide their NPD, and feign vulnerability, bruised ego, manipulate political or cultural identity, or use other tactics to secure more supply.  Both are equally incapable of emapthy, which is the defining characteristic of a Narc abuser.

 

Hoovering:

The process of a Narc using apology, fake expressions of remorse, or other means to lure the victim back into the relationship (i.e. sucking them in like a Hoover vacuum cleaner).  This will usually happen after some time has passed, and the Narc needs a new supply because their subsequent relationship(s) have exposed them or collapsed.  It also commonly happens when a survivor is starting to do better, and rebuild their life without the Narc.

 

DV: short for domestic violence

NC: no contact (in reference to the abuser)

LC: low contact (in reference to the abuser

T: Therapist (online slang)